Tragedy

Today,we argued again.
I want him to read my blog but he refused.
He want to talk face by face.
He said he don't like to read notes nor message.
But for me,I don't like to talk by face to face.
I know,
Even if I tell him the true or my feeling,
He'll get mad and there will be a fight again.
We got nothing that can discuss about it anymore.
I'm so helpless.
My mom won't help me as she think that I'm married,
Anything I should refer to my husband.
Husband will take care of you for the rest of your life.
I'm such an unlucky girl.
Michelle,you got to be tough.
You have to search for another better life.
He just won't appreciate what you have done to him.
Guess he can't remember.
I don't hate.
But I just can't stop running away from problems.
What I need is a good husband that always support me.
Understand that how hard I've done to him.
Every time when I looked at the baby who is so alike like him,
I remembered the 8 days pain when I was in hospital.
Unbearable pain that can't be forgotten.
I just can't accept that a husband can said,
"Fine,I'll move out,you can stay the baby with you."
"And I'll send you money every month."
What am I?
Am I a pig that is only used to produce something which is useful?
Am I a clown?
That have to entertain everyone?
I am a person who don't deserve anything.
Now I think that every things are not worth at all.
Why?
I don't think that I should continue this kind of life,right?
I stayed calm,try not to cry.
It's so hard to control.
Tears are falling in my heart.
No one will know.
I have to pretend that I'm happy.
This is a wrong turn.
A dead end.
Anything should be settle nicely.
Anyone can lead me to the right way?
What is my next step?
Already told him that this is a last chance.
I just can't accept to be threaten like that.
It's not the problem of how you can be a good son.
I don't hate your mom.
It's the way how you talk to your wife.
How you treated your beloved that sacrifice everything to be with you.
I know that he won't mind even if I'm going to leave him.
Well,guess that you guys won't let go your love one easily right?
And I don't think that he's a good father also.
It's so hard to ask money from him.
It's like not willing to.
Never mind Michelle.
Someone is waiting for you.
And I'm sorry.
I have to go for better life.
You are the one who don't appreciate and cherish me.
Before a full stop,
I still want to tell you that I Love You.
Till I found someone that I can rely on.
I'm so sorry.
I'll leave after tomorrow.
This is a tragedy.
Everything is over.
I can't stand for another 5 years.
Goodbye My Love.